I Used to Say ‘I don’t ask for much’...

And Then Realized That Was the Problem.

“I used to say ‘I don’t ask for much’, and then realized that was the problem.”

If you’ve been on social media for any amount of time, I’m sure you’ve seen this quote fly around more than once. A long time ago, I really used to go into dating experiences and relationships wearing an "I don’t ask for much" badge like it was my name tag or something. I was the easy-going girl on the outside. The chill one. The one who didn’t need much to be happy.

On the inside, though? I was starving.

Starving for the kind of love that didn’t feel like an afterthought. Starving for reciprocity, for consideration, for a relationship where I didn’t have to shrink myself just to keep the peace. But I wasn’t getting any of that. And you know why? Because my "I don’t ask for much" badge was attracting men who were only interested in doing or giving the bare minimum. And I accepted them.

I told myself I was being "low-maintenance." That I was just easygoing. But the truth was… I was afraid.

Afraid that asking for what I truly needed would make me too much. Afraid that my desires would push a man away. Afraid that if I required more, I’d be left with nothing.

And that fear? It kept me in relationships that left me empty.

The thing about inner work is that once you start truly pouring into yourself, you stop being okay with scraps. When I finally got tired of feeling tired—tired of dimming myself, tired of waiting for men to figure it out, tired of pretending I was fine when I wasn’t—I took all the love, patience, and energy I was handing out so freely and started giving it to myself.

I raised the standard—not for men, but for me.

And when I did? The "I don’t ask for much" badge melted away.

Because now, I do ask for much.

I ask for consideration, for effort, for emotional safety, for reciprocity, for love that is intentional and consistent—and I no longer feel guilty about it. Because the truth is, I was never asking for too much. I was just asking the wrong men.

And maybe that’s the part more women need to hear.

You don’t have to beg for the bare minimum. You don’t have to make yourself small to be chosen. You don’t have to settle for relationships that drain you.

You are allowed to want more.

So if you’ve been walking around with your own "I don’t ask for much" badge, I want you to ask yourself:

Who is that really serving?

Because if it’s not serving you, it might be time to take it off.

P.S. I highly recommend you click here and get the book below (yes, there’s a paperback version too, lol). But fair warning—this book isn’t for women committed to a “woe is me” mindset. It’s for women who are sick and tired of being sick and tired—and are actually ready to do something about it.

Sending you much love.

Now, go be great.

XO,

B - Your Internet Big Sis